"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."